Elmhurst

Northbrook Office:
899 Skokie Boulevard, Suite 220
Northbrook, IL 60062-4022
Call or text 847 707-0657

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I’ve been in practice since 1979 when I graduated from the University of Chicago-School of Social Service Administration (now known as the Crown School Of Social Work, Policy, And Practice). I’m honored to state that the school recognized me as one of their outstanding graduates. The first four years of my postgraduate experience were at Metropolitan Family Services where I received extensive training in family therapy. Then in 1983, at the same time that I began my private practice I started counseling police officers for the Chicago Police Department. In 1987, believing that the police community would be best served by an independent facility, I co-founded The Police Assistance Center/St. Michaels, a not for profit counseling facility where I remained for twenty years until I decided to go into full time private practice.

On the personal side, I have been happily married to my wife Lynette since 1983. We met in graduate school, but in 2002 she left the field to follow her true passion. She now owns and operates her own business-Three Bags Full: Knitting Studio in Northbrook. We have two wonderful sons. Our older son, Aidan, works in the field of energy conservation, and our younger son, Corey is an aspiring author. I am an avid golfer and would like to run for mayor of Heritage Oaks Golf Club if the office ever comes into existence.

For over forty years I have been helping people who are hurting emotionally. They may be feeling lonely and depressed or overly anxious. They may be having trouble meeting a potential partner, struggling with their marriage, or going through a divorce or break up. In short, I work with normal, everyday people who are at a low point in their lives.

With regard to relationships, many of the women that I see lament that they are tired of giving more than they are getting, while many of the men complain that they are tired of being labeled controlling and told that “they just don’t get it.” The truth is that, even though sometimes it’s hard to see, each person is contributing to the problem regardless of who is the “good guy” and who is the “bad guy.” I help both members of the couple figure out what they are doing that is perpetuating the problem and help them develop a healthier and more effective approach.

Whether I see you individually or as a couple, my job is to help you find satisfaction within yourself and within your relationships. You have a right to happiness. You have a right to be in a relationship in which your wants and needs are being respected while you are respectful to the wants and needs of your partner. Finding fulfillment and true happiness is not a fantasy for the movies. It is reasonable that you can be truly satisfied. I can’t promise you a miracle, but I am confident that I can help you achieve the happiness that you deserve.

I try to anticipate questions you might have about our counseling and provide the answers here. If you need additional information click here to email me through my contact form.

1. What are the benefits of counseling?

   The goal for everyone that I see is to develop a better sense of self and a greater sense of satisfaction in their lives. They feel better about themselves and see improvement in the quality of their relationships. My clients develop skills to be able to interact with others in such a way that they are more respectful to their own needs while being respectful to the needs of others.

   Although miracles do not always occur, I have helped innumerable couples save their relationships when one or both of them were initially certain that their love could not be restored.

   In other cases, I have helped many individuals who have a history of being victimized in their relationships develop the skills to become self-protective and the self-esteem necessary to find happiness and satisfaction in their lives.

2. What is your counseling philosophy?

   I believe that everyone has a right to happiness and satisfaction. A sense of fulfillment is obtained when an individual is fully accepting of his/her self and respectful of the needs of others. Ideally each individual is raised to believe that he/she is special just by virtue of being themselves. In less than ideal situations, the person’s experiences lead them to negative self-perceptions and a sense of shame about who they are. I help people overcome these negative self-images and gain a sense of acceptance of their true selves.

3. What is your approach like?

   I take a commonsense, practical approach to counseling. I pay particularly close attention to relationships and family dynamics. My major focus is on what is going on in the individual’s life in the present. Sometimes it can be useful to look at one’s childhood, however, because as children we develop patterns of interaction and roles that served us well with our circumstances growing up, but can lead to dysfunction as adults.

4. What are your particular strengths as a therapist?

   Perhaps my greatest strength is my ability to work effectively with both individuals who are taken advantage of in relationships and their partners who are taking advantage of them. I was the founder and executive director of a not for profit agency that provided individual and marriage counseling to police officers and their families. By working for twenty-five years with the police, I became particularly effective with working with men who are resistant to counseling and their spouses. I believe my ability to make a positive connection with authoritarian men as well as their wives and girlfriends sets me apart from most therapists.

   I also believe that the fact that I genuinely like my clients gives me a leg up. To a greater of lesser degree I can relate to every person who I have ever seen in counseling. The natural empathy that arises from this makes me feel a true investment in whether or not my clients’ problems are resolved.

5. What are your feelings about anti-depressant medications?

   The advances that have been made over the past twenty years in the field of psychotropic medication has been a great benefit to many and has even saved many lives. However, I believe that the medical field has developed an over reliance on their use. Too many people are turning to pills for a quick fix when they need to take a look at their lives and make changes in the ways they cope with problems and relate to others. I consider myself to be an “old fashioned” counselor who fully supports the use of anti-depressant medication when it is truly indicated and when it is used as an adjunct to psychotherapy.

6. Will my insurance cover counseling?

   Most health insurance policies will cover all or a portion of psychotherapy for problems that fit the criteria for a diagnosis such as depression or an anxiety disorder. Other problems such as couples communication issues and general life dissatisfaction are not covered by insurance. When we meet a determination is made about whether it is in your best interests to pursue insurance reimbursement. I am on the panel for Blue Cross Blue Shield and Medicare. Depending on each individual’s policy, other companies–Aetna, Cigna, and United Healthcare, for example–have out of network benefits. I am happy to submit claims to the insurance company on the client’s behalf and I only expect to receive the co-payment from the client. Some people make a payment after each session and others prefer to be billed on a monthly basis.

7. What is your fee and do you ever offer a reduction?

   My full fee after the initial meeting is $165 per session. If one does not have insurance that will pay a portion of this or if one’s financial situation is tight, then we can talk about a reduction in the fee. Since everyone’s situation is different, the decision is determined on a case by case basis.

8. Do you work evenings?

   I am in Northbrook on Monday and Wednesday in the evening and in Oak Brook on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

9. How do I make an appointment?

   It is easiest to call or text me at (847) 707-0657. The office numbers are (847) 272-7089 (Northbrook office) or (630) 571-8722 (Oak Brook office). If you prefer to e-mail, my address is rgilbert@rorygilbert.com. I make every effort to schedule people as quickly as possible, usually within three days.